


moments of transition

by deansnuggles



Series: moments of transition [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Poe Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, implied/referenced finnpoe, no actual finnpoe just some setup, poe & leia have a talk, serious conversations in the falcon cockpit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26206441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansnuggles/pseuds/deansnuggles
Summary: “I should have just listened to you.”“I do normally encourage that, yes.”Poe and Leia deal with the emotional aftermath of Crait.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Leia Organa
Series: moments of transition [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903210
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	moments of transition

**Author's Note:**

> the opinions of the characters are not necessarily those of the author (in other words, don't mistake poe's current low opinion of himself for my own, please! <3)

Four hours. It’s been four hours since they left Crait. Since Rey saved their asses in the nick of time—the few dozen of them who were left, and Poe has been running on adrenaline since… well, since Jakku, really. How long ago was that? A week? A decade? He has no idea. He does know that his last full night's sleep—or even half-night's sleep—was the night before his capture by Kylo Ren.

If he’s honest with himself, he’s not been entirely sure he wants to sleep, after that. Hasn’t wanted to know what his subconscious will throw back at him. And now, well. Now, he’s not sure he’ll ever sleep without being haunted by the lost Resistance fleet, and the worst mistake of his life.

He manages to avoid most of the other survivors on the Falcon by setting up temporary bunks in the cargo holds with C’ai. C’ai, at least, knows Poe well enough to not pick at the wound, even accidentally. He sends Connix to work on inventory with BB-8, to give her an out as well. Even BB is more subdued than usual. They all look like kicked dogs, his little band of mutineers. He hasn’t even been able to meet Finn’s eye. 

The biggest mistake of his life, and he’d dragged his friends down with him.

When they’ve set up enough bunks for at least a 50/50 sleep shift, he claps C’ai on the shoulder and tells him to spread the word to D’acy and her remaining staff that they can start setting up rotations. C’ai looks for a moment like he’s going to protest, but he just nods and lets Poe go. The best and the worst part about not having Black Squadron here right now—no one brave enough to call Poe on his bullshit. 

Well, one person… but he’s managed to avoid her the last four hours, and he’s hoping to make it a few more.

He heads to the cockpit and asks Chewie if he can take over for a bit. “I just… need to get away from all their eyes, you know? Just for a little while.” His Shyriiwook isn’t the best, but Chewie lays a heavy hand on his shoulder for a moment, says something about checking in with Rey, and takes his leave. Poe lets out a relieved sigh and sinks into the pilot’s seat.

As a sign of his exhaustion, it takes a good several minutes before it really occurs to him where it is he’s sitting, right now. The helm of the Millenium Falcon. Holy shit. This ship has seen more of the galaxy than any of her passengers, up to and including Leia herself. More planets, more war. More victories, more close calls, more mistakes. More failures. And through it all, she kept her passengers, her family safe. Hopefully she can see them safely through a while longer.

He runs his hands over her controls, taking stock, checking her systems, this amazing ship that’s older than his parents, that flew against two Death Stars and survived. Everything is modified and hot-wired within an inch of it’s life, most of the controls either unlabeled or faded and illegible. Poe knows ship controls better than he knows his own body, and even he might need a minute to familiarize himself before taking her out. The fact that Rey had flown her at all—let alone in a firefight with no co-pilot, if Finn was to be believed—was truly remarkable. The only bit of hope remaining lies with her, now. 

_ It certainly doesn’t lie with me. _

He’s not sure how long he sits there, with the helm and the stars. It’s familiar, in a way. Comforting. As a kid, he used to sneak out and sit in his mother’s A-wing at night, looking up at the stars. Especially after she passed, it was the place he felt closest to her. Still is. He traces the shape of the ring hanging against his sternum with his thumb. 

There’s movement behind him, and he knows who it’s going to be before she speaks. 

“You look good in that chair, Dameron. Suits you. Han would be jealous.”

He shoots to his feet, ungracefully. “General—”

“At ease, Commander. Sit down before you fall over.”

He sits down with a grimace. “It’s, um, it’s Captain now, remember?” 

She raises a pointed eyebrow while sitting carefully in the copilots chair and swiveling it to face him. “Are you telling me I don’t know the rank of my own second in command?”

“I don’t deserve that.”

“And what is it you think you deserve?”

“General, I led a mutiny. I got—” he runs a hand over his face, tries not to notice how much it’s shaking “—I got ninety percent of our fleet destroyed. What do I deserve? A court martial, for sure, at the very least. Honestly, probably a firing squad.”

Leia lets out a sigh. “Poe… the First Order destroyed our fleet, not you. Did you make some… ill advised decisions? Unfortunately, yes. And you’ll need to live with that guilt for a long time. But that’s leadership, Commander. Sometimes we save the day, sometimes we fuck up royally. The larger the command, the larger the fuck-ups.” She sighs. “This is a war, a resistance—not the Republic. We need people who will think for themselves and not just blindly follow orders. Your passion is your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. I think you’ll be a bit better at finding that line going forward, don’t you?”

“I should have just listened to you.”

“I do normally encourage that, yes.” 

Poe laughs wetly, then wipes at his eyes for a moment before looking up and meeting Leia’s. She’s looking at him with more affection than he knows what to do with. “I will do better. I swear to you. I will fix this. I can’t… I can’t bring them back. But I will dedicate my life, everything I have left, to this fight. I won’t rest until the Resistance is back to full strength.”

“I expect nothing less, Commander. There’s a long road ahead of us, and the path is much less clear now. But there is still a path, of that I have no doubt. We just need to find our way back to it… and show others the way.

“However. You need to take care of yourself, as well. Not resting til we’ve won sounds good in a speech, not so good in practice. How long has it been since you slept?—and no, being stunned unconscious doesn’t count.” 

Poe snorts. “Gods… too long, I don’t know. Feels like I haven’t slept since Jakku.”

“Well, at the risk of being a hypocrite, I was unconscious for quite a bit longer than you, so I’ll keep watch here for a while. You go get some rest. Go find that boy of yours, make sure he does too. He’s been through a lot.”

Poe blinks at her in confusion. “What boy?”

Leia gives him her ‘stop being dense’ eyebrow, which he is all too familiar with. “The one who follows you around like a little lost puppy dog? The one you can’t keep your eyes off of if you’re within 50 meters of each other? The one who was wearing your favorite jacket, suspiciously stapled up the back?”

Poe groans and buries his head in his hands. 

“You could be good for each other, you know.”

“Come on, Leia. He’s ten years younger than me. Besides, I think he has a thing for Rey… or Rose? I don’t know, it’s confusing.”

“Age is meaningless. Han was ten years older than me—alright, maybe we’re not the best example of a successful relationship, but it wasn’t because of our ages. Good things can happen, Poe. Even now. And we all need to grasp onto what little happiness we can find here in the dark. Just… be a friend to him, if nothing else. I gather he’s not had many of those.” 

“Well, that much I can do.” 

He stands up to take his leave, but before he makes it out, Leia says, “But I do think you’d be good together. And, just a hunch—I don’t think it’s Rey and Rose he has his eyes on.” 

Poe is… not ready to have this conversation with himself, let alone with his General. “I will… keep that in mind,” he says, unconvincingly. “Thank you, General,” he says, more sincerely, “For everything.”

“You’re a good man, Poe. Don’t let your mistakes define you.” 

He makes his way back to the common area, feeling more confident about facing the rest of the crew. Leia has always had a way of knowing exactly what people need, whether it’s a pep talk… or a slap in the face. He only hopes he can take her example and give some comfort to the friends he has left.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a series of stories set post-tlj and going au before tros. I'm thinking they'll be fairly standalone, though connected, so I'm doing a series instead of a chaptered fic this time. We'll see how it goes!
> 
> These will be Poe & FinnPoe focused, so follow along only as much as those topics interest you. <3


End file.
